Wacko Jacko Ain’t Comin’ Backo!

Amazing, trashy, tell all, no publisher listed!

Jordie’s drawings of Jacko’s genitalia reproduced in the above book.

I’m not much a fan of Michael Jackson’s music, but as I media figure I always found him quite interesting, especially in recent years. How can you not love somebody who would hold a baby over a balcony just to entertain his fans? Anyway, this book, Michael Jackson Was My Lover (The Secret Diary Of Jordie Chandler) by Victor M. Gutierrez, which lists no publisher (although it has a copyright date of 1995 and two printing dates, first edition 1996 and second edition 1997) is one of the great, sick, celeb reads. I found a copy at Shakespeare and Co. sitting on a table. The next day I went back to buy a second copy and the pile was gone, I never saw another copy again. Here are some chapter headings: Jackson’s Use Of Enemas and Tampons (p. 64), The Staff Knew About Jordie (p. 77), Jordie’s Description Of Jackson’s Genitalia (p. 158). If you ever see a copy, grab it, it’s a hoot and a half.
After the announcement of Jacko’s death, I turned on CNN to watch the media circus and a CNN reporter had cornered a woman, stalker-fan who spend all her time camped out outside of Jacko’s rented Holmby Hills house. This woman had a teenage daughter in tow, both of them covered in Jacko ephemera. I felt sorry for the daughter, it was obvious that she wasn’t so much Jacko crazed as her mother, but enjoyed having something to bond with her mom over. The mother was insane. When the CNN reporter asked her what it was about Jacko that made her spend all her time camped out in the street waiting for a glimpse of his head in a car speeding away, all she could say, over and over again was– “He invented the Moon Walk! He INVENTED the Moon Walk!” Her eyes were bulging out of her head. Amazing. The other thing I’ll miss are the N.Y. Post headlines: “Wacko Jacko Backo!”,” Wacko Jacko Flees Flacko” (with a photo of paparazzi chasing Jacko into the Courthouse). Who can forget his court appearance in his PJ’s? Who can forget him jumping onto the roof of an SUV after his arraignment, as if he’d just won twenty more Grammy awards? The press conference where he took even Al Sharpton by surprise by accusing Tommy Mottola of being a racist, white devil (“he’s been acting very devilish”), when he thought Sony wasn’t promoting his record Invincible enough. (Sharpton, who looked shocked was speechless for the first time in his life, eventually mumbling “I’m friends with Tommy Mottola, I don’t think he’s racist”). How about Jacko as the Scarecrow in The Wiz, Motown’s re-make of Wizard Of Oz? Or the bizarre television appearances with Lisa Marie Presley, Martin Bashir, and others? He was as entertaining off the stage as on, maybe more. What a nut. The type only America could produce.

28 thoughts on “Wacko Jacko Ain’t Comin’ Backo!”

  1. But seriously, Hound, you know as much as anybody about this stuff: Didn't James Brown and Jackie Wilson do pretty much all of those stage moves, including the so-called moon walk? My guess is that some version of those moves were part of an African-American entertainment tradition that stretches back into the 19th Century. Is that a fair assumption?

  2. “I thought Neil Armstrong invented the moon walk.””Didn't James Brown and Jackie Wilson do pretty much all of those stage moves, including the so-called moon walk?”I'm didn't say Jacko invented anything, let alone dance moves he copped from watching the TAMI Show on video (he's admitted as much).I just couldn't believe how nuts this woman on TV was. Like I said, I found Jacko more interesting as a public train wreck than as an entertainer. Of course their were lots of guys who did it earlier and better. But was anyone ever as kooky? We live in an era of diminished expectations, so I guess we gotta get our laughs where ever we can find them. But then again I loved the film Mr. Lonely.

  3. Your so RIGHT Hound.Neil Armstrong,along with JB and Jackie Wilson. Take away the glitz,fireworks,choreography etc. and all ya got is dental office crap.Jeff

  4. Don't forget Ronnie Hawkins was doing the Camel Walk(same dance-different animal) back in the 50's in Arkansas.

  5. Michael Jackson was responsible for some of the ugliest music known to man-and that includes the Jackson Five.His passing is no big deal to me-there was never anything like this amount of coverage for Gene Pitney or Roy Orbison and this is only in the last 2o hours.Jackson was damn lucky he got off the sex crimes and it was only because so many witnesses were selling their stories to the tabloids and scandal mags.After all the shouting and praising by black power people remember this is the guy who abandoned dozens of animals some of which had to be put down when Neverland went to seed.This is the guy who never paid his workers at Neverland for months as he fled to Vietnam or some place to become a MuslimThis is the guy who told Martin Bashir stuff he should have kept to himself-about how he loved children thus dropping himself right in the mire.This is the guy who went over Paul McCartney's head to secretly purchase the Northern Songs catalogue-fortunately now owned by Sony after his massive court costsThis is the guy who bought the silence of a kid in 1993 he was alleged to have molestedThis is the guy who was so proud of his black roots he spent a fortune on cosmetic surgery to turn himself white!This is the guy who ordered his own kids to wear burkas in the street,slept in an oxygen tent and even walked into a bank once with his face covered!!Wacko Jacko is just about right

  6. Anna Nichole Smith and Jackson would have made the ultimate train wreck couple, too bad we didn't get to see that.Sky Saxon's passing meant more to me than Wacko Jacko's.

  7. If half the purported abuse father Joe Jackson laid on Michael and his brothers is true, that would explain a lot of his bizarre behavior and make dad the black Murray Wilson to be sure! I dug the early Jackson 5 but not the latter-day THRILLER and beyond stuff!

  8. I remember back when they were getting ready to announce the verdict after his second trial and this huge crowd of Jackson's Kool-Aid drinkers had gathered outside the courthouse. What caught my eye was this woman (easily in her 60s), fists clenched, eyes shut tight, as if the fate of the free world depended on Jacko being found not guilty. When the verdict was announced this loon pulled a dove (or maybe a pigeon covered in white out) out of a wooden cage and flung it into the air. I remember thinking…”Boy, I'm glad she doesn't live anywhere near me”!

  9. I agree with Family Cat about the sheer ugliness of a lot of his solo music (though I disagree about the Jackson 5 stuff, which to my ears is mostly delightful bubblegum-soul). I can even deal with some of “Off The Wall” and I'll admit that Quincy Jones' baseline for “Billie Jean” is pretty irresistible. But Lordamighty, almost everything else is just horrible, especially “We Are The World,” which is the most abominable piece of garbage in the entire history of pop. “How Much Is That Doggy in the Window” kicks its ass with Slade-boots.I graduated high school in '83 and so he's the prime reference point for the mass of my generation. And that's part of the problem: I despise the 80's (except for some rap and some punk). Everything that registered on any widespread level picked up the stench of Reagan America, with its cynical hype, phony optimism, slickness-for-its-own-sake, denial of history, pain, and human and national limits. It's an empty and grotesque era in terms of mainstream cultural production and Jacko was its ultimate exemplar in the entertainment realm, as Reagan was in politics, Stallone in film, and Bret Easton Ellis in literature. Every time I hear Jacko called a “musical genius” or “great artist” I practically blow a gasket. His early stuff was factory-produced by Motown and his later crap was pure L.A. studio crapola that ranged from sub-Pat-Benatar pop-rock to a narcissistic quintessence of godawful late Stevie Wonder.Yes, it was ugly. Let's never forget that.

  10. “this woman (easily in her 60s), fists clenched, eyes shut tight, as if the fate of the free world depended on Jacko being found not guilty. “There really is no hope for the world is there?I gotta admit, with his music playing in the background of all the retarded media coverage, “Ugly”is the best word for it, it sounds even worse now than it did then. It's like the musical equivalent of the yellow crap the got on your fingers as a kid after eating cheese doodles.

  11. Had to share this:Michael Jackson's death sparks Florida bus brawlMIAMI (Reuters) – A fight broke out on a Florida bus when news of Michael Jackson's death sparked debate over whether he should be remembered as a great musical talent, and one passenger was charged with assault, police said on Friday.The bus was moving through the city of North Lauderdale on Thursday when passenger James Kiernan received a text message about Jackson's death on his cell phone, and he read it aloud on the bus, the Broward County Sheriff's Department said.The unidentified bus driver opined that “Michael Jackson should have been in jail long ago,” prompting Kiernan, 60, to retort that “the world just lost a great musical talent,” the police report said.It said the last remark enraged another passenger, Henry Wideman, who started a swearing match with Kiernan, then pulled out a knife and chased Kiernan down the aisle with it.The driver called his dispatcher and pulled over near a convenience store to wait for sheriff's deputies, who arrested Wideman, 54. He remained in jail on Friday on a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.(Reporting by Jane Sutton; Editing by Pascal Fletcher)idUSTRE55P68O20090626

  12. I can't help but think if you were a black kid in the early '70s, the Jackson 5 would have been your Beatles. I don't have a problem with that. The guitar riff on “I Want You Back” is killer, in my opinion. He made a lot of crap, especially everything post-Thriller, but he also had several great moments. I feel kind of sorry for the guy.

  13. The Jackson Five was when the rot finally set in on the Tamla Motown label leading straight into disco and other horrors.Jackson's music also represents the very worst of the 80s when corporate music took over and brainwashed peopleIn the 80s there was no difference between Michael Jackson,Janet Jackson or any other Jackson come to that-they were all boring.Last night there was a program on BBC about Jackson,a reminder of all the oddball things he'd done.When it showed Lisa Marie Presley it reminded me of Elvis' awareness in Heaven of the marriage”Thank God I thought she'd married a black guy!”

  14. Same thing happened again! Tell you what – just google the following: “The fans killed their idol. They always do” – that should do it.

  15. That is so much psycho-babble crap!Blame the fans for Jacko's questionable decisions. Yeah, that's the ticket! I don't dispute for one minute that Jackson's fans were visitors from another dimension. The people who killed him though were himself, his family, and the rest of the blood-sucking leeches who had wormed their way into his life and were dependant on him for financial support. Michael has a drug problem, but whatever you do don't confront him about it because you'll lose your free ride. Despite evidence to the contrary, Jacko was a grown “man”? and it falls on him in the end. He wasn't being chased down the street by fans and forced to take injections of Demerol on a daily basis. Quit looking for a convenient scapegoat and put the blame where it belongs…to the “Man in the Mirror”. I suppose next up are the conspiracy theories only a paranoid schizophrenic or a Jackson fan would believe. Ugh!!

  16. “I can't help but think if you were a black kid in the early '70s, the Jackson 5 would have been your Beatles.”I was and they were.Not a big fan of anything they (or he) did after they left Motown, but while they were still there, they waxed some classic soul sides.Let somebody else defend “Thriller,” I ain't got the stomach for it!!!

  17. please see links!!!innocent want proof heres your proofTHERES A WOMEN THAT STAYED THE NIGHT AT NEVERLAND SHE SAID THE BOYS BEGGED TO SLEEP IN THE ROOM WITH HIM AFTER MAKING FALSE CLAIMS AGAINST MICHAEL THE SAME BOYS BEGGED AND PLEADED TO SLEEP IN MICHAEL'S ROOM WHEN HE WAS NOT THERE RIGHT AFTER SAYING THAT HE MOLESTED THEM I DONT KNOW ABOUT YALL BUT THAT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT TO ME SHE EVEN WROTE THEM A LETTER SAYING THAT AFTER MICHAEL HELPED THEM AND BECAME FRIENDS THEY TURN RIGHT AROUND AND STABBED HIM IN THE BACK WITH LIES FOR MONEY AND I FOR ONE KNOW THAT ITS NOT MICHAEL'S FOUGHT IF THEY HAD BEEN POOR HE IS GENEROUS HE WOULD HAVE GAVE THEM MONEY BUT THE WAY THEY WENT TO GET GET IT WAS WRONG I WOULD NEVER TREAT A FRIEND LIKE THAT THOSE LIER'S Discuss Mehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcXi3HHTIOY&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcXi3HHTIOY&feature=relaatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lVUvOLdg50&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlaVZw5h6YE&feature=relatedhttp://mjjdreamworld.yuku.com/topic/629?page=2http://mjjdreamworld.yuku.com/topic/629?page=3listen to MJ he clearly says that he let them have the bed and slept on the floor and theres nothing wrong with thathttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQwY4ll1Kfchttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpA0r0Lz2zc&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlaVZw5h6YE&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpQo4yWdaso&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=084VrfNpZJU&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_0zxCCGQ6Yhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mX0ItcAIeIY&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPHQXTVel1Qhttp://www.fillmedia.com/michael-jackson-private-telephone-conversations-2176.htmMJ's secret diary its a must read here the link pass this on many questions will be answered including the baby daggling and people sleeping in MJ's bedhttp://michaeljackson.blogspot.com/this is the truth!!!http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31897679/ns/entertainment-access_hollywood/http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/31926623#31926623

  18. I'm having a hard time understanding your post(s)…Sorry,but your syntax could stand a little improvement. The links you post (for the most part) are just unverifiable statements. It say's (on the internet) that President Obama wasn't born in this country. Am I supposed to believe that too? I'm pretty sure you don't believe that,correct? I'll never convince you about Michael or anything else because like most people you “cherry-pick” the Internet for stories confirming what you already believe. The woman who owns the condo next to mine is very intelligent and nice as they come BUT she's convinced that the white powers-that-be cooked up the AIDS epidemic to rid this country of black people. She knows that to be a fact because she read it on the Internet. Both sides are guilty of this and it needs to stop if we are ever going to solve this country's problems.


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