As the House Of Non-Representatives leans towards passing the 700 billion dollar Wall Street bail out, now swollen to nearly 900 with all the extra pork that had to go into buying off the Reagan ideologues and the Democrats who understandably don’t trust the bankers, we ask ourselves, what kind of idiot would trust these greedy pigs with all that money? They are obviously going to take a huge chunk of that cheese and line their own pockets. These are the same creeps that got us in this mess.
There is another way, it took me five minutes of thinking to come up with it. Here’s my economic bail out plan. Take the 700 billion and whack it up between all 250 million American citizens, that gives each person roughly $4,100. Each person must sign a promissory note to keep the money in a savings account for at least six months.
That gives the banks a huge influx of cash and some time to get themselves solvent.
That will be followed by most people taking the money and buying shit with it, money that will be directly injected into the economy, like a good fix of smack. Because as Americans that’s what we are programed from birth to do– buy shit. This will provide cash for retailers, jobs, etc. Western capitalism is saved. You’re welcome.
The above photo is of Mr. Samuels Tire Re-Capping place on St. Claude Ave in New Orleans (pre-Katrina), also where we shot Andre Williams’ Bait & Switch (Norton)
As a soundtrack to the above rant may I suggest this little nugget from Jerry Lee Lewis & the Nashville Teens captured live (and on a thousand prellies) at Hamburg’s Star Club circa 1963: Money.
Also, pertaining to yesterday’s Jerry Lewis post, here’s the x-rated out take of the radio spot for The Caddy courtesy of the ever indispensable Brian Redman. Haven’t you always wanted to hear both Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin say cocksucker?